Let’s start off this post with a disclaimer, and a confession.
The disclaimer is that I am not a mental health professional, I am simply attempting to spread some positivity by sharing advice.
And now the confession: I have been writing this same post since the summer of 2020. It’s been mostly finished for about 6 months and I haven’t been able to press “publish”. I think it’s been difficult to post because I’m worried about saying the wrong thing or forgetting to say the right thing. I especially don’t want anyone to read this and then feel like their negative feelings are invalidated. But considering that mass shootings, instances of racism, and other terrible things just keep happening, I’m compelled to share some thoughts about positivity and joy even when really real and unbelievably wrong things are happening.
Don’t listen to fear
This point is first because it’s one that is really close to me. I always try to make my decisions after I filter out fear. My whole life people have been teaching me how to be afraid.
As both a teacher and a photographer people unfailingly warn me how easy it is to fail in both of my chosen professions, especially how hard it will be to make good money. But I don’t listen to them because they are not living my life. I know that I have to try these things. I understand that there are risks in life. But even when people around you are reminding you about scarcity, try to remember- you just need enough for you.
Maybe you’re worried about getting a job, or starting a business, or applying to your dream school. Wanting to improve your life can feel hopeless when it seems like there’s scarcity for everyone. But it’s still possible to have a good life and improve your situation even during hard things that affect your whole country and world.
Maybe you can’t do everything you want but there is always something that you can do. You only need to get that one right interview, or meet that one right person, or the one right fill-in-the-blank. I promise there is enough success in the world to go around and you deserve a piece of it. So when you’re making plans my advice is to listen to the voices that are constructive, even if the only positive voice you hear is the one in your heart.
2. Focus on what you can control
Does anyone else hear their mom’s voice reading that heading? My mom gives good advice. Often things happen that we can’t control that feel impossible to deal with. Things like not being able to pay the bills, or having general anxiety feel really helpless, and I’ve definitely been there for many hard situations in my own life.
But while we’re dealing with those things it doesn’t help to also focus on small complaints. Nitpicking people and things around you is only going to worsen and prolong negativity. It’s so tempting to feel angry at other people who are making wrong choices. I know anger is my go-to in wrong situations. When I’m in a healthy place I acknowledge my angry feelings and then try to identify actions that I can take.
There are people all around me shouting ways to help others in need. It helps to focus on those actions and make a plan instead of wallowing in helplessness. There’s rarely a time when nothing we can do will help, especially in our own community and/or family space.
3. Feel it out
Sometimes in order to let go of negative feelings like anger or grief, it can help to acknowledge those feelings, facing them head-on. If you ignore every negative feeling those toxic thoughts will build up, you have to let those things out. And this is life, we’re all human with the whole range of human emotions. It’s ok to be really angry for a time, or sad or depressed, or literally anything you feel. Feel it fully so you can ultimately move on.
I hope these ideas are encouraging. I can’t understand everything you’re feeling and going through but I can say I feel for you and I’m going through it too! You’re really strong and you can make it through anything. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It can’t hurt to ask.
Some additional resources and topics that may be helpful:
Happiness: The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
Mental Health- You can text HOME to 741741 to talk with a crisis counselor at any time. It’s free and includes the whole United States. https://www.crisistextline.org/
Mental Health America has information specifically about Covid, as well as many other resources: https://mhanational.org/covid19
Antiracism: There are so many resources it’s difficult to choose which ones to list. A quick google search finds pages of information on this topic. Some people that I follow personally are @taimaniemeraldcreative, @moemotivate, and @glographics
Good News: Goodgoodgoodco is a newspaper, newsletter, and podcast that only reports good news. It’s based in Portland OR but reports on things all around the world. https://www.goodgoodgood.co/
I would love for this list to be a dynamic resource so comment below if you have an idea of one that would be helpful and I’ll add it in!
